Nights like these

I knew there were going to be nights, nights that were just too long, just too dark.. 

So here I am, lighting it up, watching the smoke leave my lips.. 

It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Seeing me like this, it’s been awhile.. 

Trying to hide behind the smoke, trying to lose myself in the taste on my tongue.. 

What is wrong I wonder? Everything seems just fine, or so it seems.. 

But deep down under, there is this poetry that burns inside.. 

Burns like my throat right now, leaving behind traces that will one day tear it all down.. 

Looking in the mirror, I see the same old me staring right back, deeper eyes though.. 

Like it’s a challenge – the change, something I’m trying to keep.. 

Do I need someone? Do I need myself? Or do I need just another? 

What is it I need?  Looking down at the half burnt stub between my fingers.. 

I know I’m not going to be sleeping tonight, definitely not going to cry either.. 

Cannot read a book, or hear a story, or close my eyes and fly.. 

There is nothing on my mind, but constant ringing that I can’t seem to escape tonight.. 

It was a story I foretold, a story I knew before it happened.. 

It is a story I see now, I see now as I watch myself give into fate.. 

I cringe as my fingers burn, the lit figure forgotten and left to turn.. 

Hear me tonight, there is a scream in my head, not me but there it is, right there..

An empty room, curtains drawn apart, windows wide open.. 

In the darkness, the only lights being stars and passing cars.. 

I knew there were going to be nights, nights that were just too long, just too dark.. 

So here I am, lighting it up, watching the smoke leave my lips.. 

Yet again, tonight.