Rain.

Like calming rain in the dark, pouring heavy, pouring on.

How could I ever escape the soothing downpour? How could I ever even breathe it all in?

Rushing through my hair, untangling and unfurling my golden locks,

But the flowers and the beads in my woven braid, washed away – baring it all.

Wiping away the masking glory, pulling at the shimmering volto,

As it falls away, my eyes reflect – someone I’ve never known before.

The pretty little boa around my neck, feathers curling up onto themselves – now overladen,

Dark slivers of a struggle unseen, now out for everyone’s cognizance.

My hands reach up with uncertainty, my fingers tracing the lines consciously.

The silken veil falls to the ground, my shoulders finally free,

All the crushing weight, forgotten – or maybe just so  it seems.

Just in a dress, in cloth as thin as air, shivering against the water, that snugly holds me everywhere.

Feet bare, the shackles still on, that’s one thing that will always be there,

Reminding me of days bygone, that i refuse to let go of, choosing to stay.
 

Is this just rain or is it a downpour of everything that I ever was?

Ever so elusive, considered a past, yet always everywhere.

I wrap my arms around myself, falling to the ground, pulling my knees into my chest,

There I am, drenched to the bone, almost naked but yet never there.

It always seems to wash over me, my body, every crevice and corner unseen,

But what i wish for truly is to be washed away completely, to not have a past, to not be me.

But each time, I’m left unsure of who I am and who I used to be,

Because here I stand, forever in a loop, nothing changing but just layers being peeled away.

With every cycle, I lose something, something that was never mine I feel,

Just afraid that when the last curtain is drawn, I’ll be nothing but air – invisible but on a stage.